Sara Puri, Iron Avenger (Pro Hero!)

GROUP
Yeah, your group should just be hero, no need for the ‘Pro’ part.

ARMOURY
Hero Costume: OK, we need to have a rough idea of how much metal Sara can use from her costume? Like a rough weight of the combined filigree and bracers would be great. Also, what specific metal they are made from will help as well, given how it will affect the performance of her resulting creations and their weaknesses?

Water: How much water does she carry, roughly? And how much does it ease her pain?

Earpods: How much does this help her in battle, compared to without?

Nugget of Gold: How much can she make with this?

QUIRK

Overall, I feel like the quirk section could use a major rework? It feels very cluttered and at the very least I think it would be better written in small paragraphs rather than one big wall of text. Also, you need to close that bold tag so the whole summary section isn’t all in bold, it’s a rookie mistake.
Finally, on the general rework, I’d ask you try and cut back the ‘fluff’ in your writing, and try to state things in a simple and ‘to the point’ manner a little more? Also, for the sake of common vernacular, it’s better to use the term ‘posts’ than ‘turns’.
As for the specifics of the quirk;

First up, when she sculpts her creations, is this telekinetic or does she shape them manually with her hands? This feels very vaguely written.

The implication of the quirks basic ability seems to be that you can only use the quantity of metal available to you (Like you’d need 500lbs of metal to use your metal moose skill), so if this is indeed the case and there is no propagation offered by the quirk, for the sake of clarification we’d like that spelled out definitively.

Since some of the wording here is a bit confusing and vague, rather than giving specific examples of how making item A differs to making item B, it would be far better to express things in simple terms i.e "She can manipulate up to 500 pounds of metal within 75 feet of her person". Overall, without something simple like this, we’re having a hard time defining what the quirk can and can’t do.

There seems to be an implication that rather than making actual living creatures from metal, what Sara does with her powers in this regard is more like a kind of puppetry; she uses her control over metal to make them seem alive, but they aren’t? If this is your intent, please state it clearly and simple for the sake of clarification on the matter.

In regard to the numbers of creatures Sara can make, does quantity affect this issue? Like is it harder for her to control 50 distinct creatures than 1 large one? Since she would have to divide her focus between 50 places rather than 1?

In regard to how many posts Sara can control metal for, we feel this is too long for your level, and shut be cut back from 10 to 5.
Your animal-based moves will need the following edits;

Snake- You need to say how much the snake weighs, and that will affect the buoyancy. Given the fact it will be made of solid metal, unless it is very light for its size, it won’t be able to swim?

Moose- Given the weight of the creature, we think this should be slow, but strong, and Sara would have limited control over the creation as well, likened more to a battering ram than anything?

Cat- How much damage can this cat do? And how much does it weigh.

We think since this quirk is so heavily focused on creating metal animals, it would be a better idea to remove the idea she can shape metal into weaponry and simply have her carry said weapons around with her, for use with her quirk?

Your operating time for your quirk needs work. First up, 30 posts is way too long for any quirk to function for. Like, it’s long enough you could never be without it in most threads?
Bear in mind the average fight time for on-site battles is about 10 posts, so you really need to restrain this, and largely you have two options here;
A ‘per thread’ limit, which would likely be longer but once you’ve used up all your allowance you’re basically quirkless for the rest of the thread.
A ‘go and stop’ limit, whereby your quirk has a shorter operating time, but has a cooldown period and you can recover your use by allowing for this.

I would say 500lb of creations is the maximum she can make per thread, and anything over this would make her quirk and abilities suffer accordingly due to fatigue?
conductive? So, this needs to be changed to conductive metals are well, conductive.
It should probably also be noted that metals conduct heat well as well, so that would probably be something that could be a drawback of the power.

If rust is a problem for the quirk, you should mention both the metals she uses that are vulnerable to this, and how quickly they would be affected by rust? In real life, even something like Iron would take days to show any rust at all, so if this is a true drawback you really need to accelerate that rate, otherwise it’s kind of a moot point?

Finally, we think that the act of ‘scraping paint’ off materials so she could use them would take at least 1 post, so she couldn’t swipe the paint off a material and manipulate the metal in a single turn.


SKILLS

Martial Weapon User
This seems to mention her being able to use weapons, but no real information on specific weapons she can use? We really need information on what weapons Sara is trained in using, and remember, if this skill covers multiple weapon disciplines, your ability with each will be lesser? If you want to have B rank skills in using weapon types, you need a specific skill with each?

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