Saiya Oroshi | Ten Percent [Student]

Welcome, there is some work to be done.

I'll start with the minor part. The Navigation skill needs more details on. Like how is this skill better to have than google maps or a phone with gps? The Martial Arts skill, she's sixteen and she's fairly competent with five different styles? When would she have time to do this? It takes 2 years just to master the basics of Aikido, training two to three days a week at minimum. Orange to Green belt approximately for the rank that you have listed. That's not counting the other four, let alone where you might have learned that last one. It would probably be best to trim that down to one or two styles, and if you keep the last one, add on to your history on where/who you learned that from. The Technology skill also makes us slightly nervous one part due to lack of details and two because the way it's worded right now makes us think it should bee higher in rank.

The suit also needs some clarifying. You say as durable as she is, what does that mean? When she's powered up or just normal clothes? It also sounds like it provides some protection, what kind?

Quirk types are Mutation, Transformation, and Emitter, it has to be one of those three. Based on what it looks like, it's an Emitter type, but could change based on what you want to do on your quirk.

The quirk is where there is the most work. It does way too much for a quirk. We do have some very versatile quirks, but they do generally just do one or two things. Jun can fly using his fire half, but in the end, he's using fire manipulation to do it. She has Strength enhancement, Durability enhancement, Speed enhancement, Bulletproof, Heat resistance, Cold resistance, Physical resistance, and Flight. That's eight different things that can be quirks all on their own. Not counting the increase in power based on the number of quirks around her (which we are denying) and evidently some type of tracking ability. It needs to be narrowed down to one, maybe two bits. Then we can go from there.

Some additional little notes, All Might does not exist here. Most fights between students/student leveled peeps last between 7-9 posts, so 15 posts is way too long. Need more details on the electricity weakness should you decide to keep it. Dietery weaknesses are fluff and we don't really count it unless it's so bad that she literally has to eat/drink something in the middle of a fight. For example, my character Vanish can only use his quirk for four posts, but if he drinks a protein shake, he can use it for an additional post (he tries to keep two protein shakes on him for this reason). Four posts is a really short time.

That's what we got. If you have questions or want to bounce ideas, feel free to ask in app and character help on discord.

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Hey Potato,

You've got a much easier to work with quirk going on here but we need a few more details sorted out.

The first thing I want to say is that this pending is not a denial of your quirk, I think it can be really good but I think we need to change some things.

Yet again you're spreading your quirk out into too many aspects. We prefer a quirk has at absolute most three aspects, and even at that point each of those points have to be weaker than comparable quirks of that caliber. Your quirk has currently: Flight, Enhanced Strength (x2), Crushing, Launching, Lockdown, Durability and Agility. We need to cut this down, our recommendation is just Launching, Crushing and Lockdown if you're going to take three aspect.

The second thing is that you've listed both a 10ft and a 5ft area for your multiple targets, which is inconsistent but at this rank I believe we should probably set this for a single target effect. In addition to that, we need a maximum range for your effect. So you can target a single person up to Xft/Xm away.

The third thing is that we need to reduce the scale of all of the aspects of the quirk. At D-Rank you're still learning a lot about your quirk so "Launching someone into space" or "Crushing a car" is probably not very realistic yet. However, launching someone about 500ft or maybe holding a car in place is more realistic.

We also need to sort out physicality of the effect. So the ability needs to have at least one of the following:
A physical appearance that can be dodged or avoided
A means in which someone can resist it
A listed requirement for a players permission for it to be used against them

We also need the details onto how "dizzy" she becomes after reaching her limit to get an understanding of how it actually serves to balance it.

Finally, the skill for martial arts at D-Rank would definitely not have you totally having learned 5 full martial arts, we recommend you either choosing two of them to have learned for now or you can list that you are learning them presently and don't yet have it totally down.

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Gravity manipulation is an exceptionally powerful quirk. And it cannot magically gift you with super human strength, speed, and durability like in John Carter or Dragon Ball Z. It is not happening unless you make it a quirk all on its own. But then that's it. Just one or two of those three things. So choose which you would like, and just go with it, but you are not getting Gravity Manipulation, Enhanced Strength, Enhanced Speed, and Enhanced Durability. Should you choose to stick with the Gravity Manipulation, you will not be able to choose a second part of the quirk. It is that powerful and has that many options on what you can do with it. I will leave it here, because balancing while you're trying to decide what to do is just not feasible. Just know that at this current level, increasing Gravity on someone to 4 times that of Earth is not happening, as that would be closer to B+ to A- rank.

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